Chez Bruce, where I am getting nostalgic for the foods of the '80s.

Miner striker. Margaret Thatcher.
Berlin Wall. Maradona’s handball.
Kylie and Jason. Rampant inflation.
Postman Pat. Roland Rat.

Virgin Atlantic. Water that’s volcanic.
HP sauce. Inspector Morse.
Wall Street traders. Space Invaders.
Arcade dreams. Custard creams.

Moscow Olympics. Falklands conflict.
Indiana Jones. Very large phones.
Del Boy and Rodney. Deirdre on Corrie.
Marty McFly. Michael Fish.

Band Aid. Live Aid. Cherry-ade. Kwik Save.
HIV, MTV, TUC, SDP.
Dangermouse. Dogtanian. Dungeons & Dragons.
Baywatch beach. Papa Don’t Preach.

Big hair. Polo necks. BHS. VHS.
ET. BT. Mr T. Ford Capri.
Donkey Kong and Pac Man. Now it’s Captain Caveman!
Scooby Dooby Doo, Where are you?

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A Masterchef poem retelling the story of the 2017 competition.

Masterchef Poem – aka ‘Ode to Torode’

In a deeply secret red-and-silver kitchen,
Somewhere in London or possibly in Hitchin
( – in spite of sweeping skyscraper shots,
I’m guessing it’s filmed somewhere in Herts.)

The contestants listen with a sense of forebode
To cheeky-chappy Gregg and his mate John Torode.
It’s The Market Challenge!” they boldly disclose,
That’s a pimped-up version of (the Hitchin) Waitrose.

The clock starts ticking, contestants are aflutter.
It’s Supermarket Sweep with organically-made butter
That’s been churned from a cow, who’s been pampered to the hilt
With a daily massage on Egyptian-cotton quilt.  View Post