Ahoy me hearties, shiver me timbers and splice the mainbrace! Now’s time for a hearty sea shanty, all in honour of a new London fish joint: Parsons. And if you’re in need of some instrumental accompaniment…
Miner striker. Margaret Thatcher.
Berlin Wall. Maradona’s handball.
Kylie and Jason. Rampant inflation.
Postman Pat. Roland Rat.
Virgin Atlantic. Water that’s volcanic.
HP sauce. Inspector Morse.
Wall Street traders. Space Invaders.
Arcade dreams. Custard creams.
Moscow Olympics. Falklands conflict.
Indiana Jones. Very large phones.
Del Boy and Rodney. Deirdre on Corrie.
Marty McFly. Michael Fish.
Band Aid. Live Aid. Cherry-ade. Kwik Save.
HIV, MTV, TUC, SDP.
Dangermouse. Dogtanian. Dungeons & Dragons.
Baywatch beach. Papa Don’t Preach.
Big hair. Polo necks. BHS. VHS.
ET. BT. Mr T. Ford Capri.
Donkey Kong and Pac Man. Now it’s Captain Caveman!
Scooby Dooby Doo, Where are you?
In a deeply secret red-and-silver kitchen,
Somewhere in London or possibly in Hitchin
( – in spite of sweeping skyscraper shots,
I’m guessing it’s filmed somewhere in Herts.)
The contestants listen with a sense of forebode
To cheeky-chappy Gregg and his mate John Torode.
“It’s The Market Challenge!” they boldly disclose,
That’s a pimped-up version of (the Hitchin) Waitrose.
The clock starts ticking, contestants are aflutter.
It’s Supermarket Sweep with organically-made butter
That’s been churned from a cow, who’s been pampered to the hilt
With a daily massage on Egyptian-cotton quilt. View Post